Emergence
by Saruyx
Summary: Y/N knows all too well the faces and discriminations of her classmates. Being overweight, she has always been mocked and ridiculed by those around her. Despite her battle with bulimia, low self-esteem, and seemingly non-existent confidence, Y/N aims to survive the rest of her days as a student and shed her unwanted pounds before she enters adulthood. Also on: Wattpad, DeviantArt
1. Author's Note

— Author's Note —

Hello, reader!

Before you get started I would like to say a few things about this story.

Emergence is a self-insert, xreader style story involving an overweight girl who is somewhat bullied and is trying to manage her problems and reach her goals as she completes high school. Along the way there is humor, spots of romance, and a generous helping of everyday teenage drama.

Due to this being a Lookism fanfiction, there is a great possibility for scenes depicting violence, verbal abuse, and unwanted physical contact (this which will be kept minimal). In the case of more adult scenes, there will be a notice at the top of the chapter.

Updates should occur a minimum of once weekly depending upon my free time and levels of creativity.

I hope you enjoy the story!  
Feel free to leave comments to let me know what you think.

— Saruyx


	2. I

It's it funny how life seems to favor some while others find themselves constantly struggling to get by. I would love nothing more than to say life favors me, but that's not the case. I'm not the worst off, but nothing is what I would call easy. I grew up here in Seoul. I've gone to school with the same kids year after year, struggled to fit in, only to be cast out. Why? It's simple. I may or may not be a little overweight.

I know, it's a hard fact to believe. Or it would be if it wasn't for the fact that I'm sitting here in the kitchen, shoveling a tall stack of buttered up, syrup drenched pancakes into my mouth. It's one of my favorite breakfasts. Do I regret my choice to eat this? Not really. Sure, it's frustrating to listen to my two younger siblings going on at me about my weight. What can I say though? They take after our mother. Scrawny little string beans with crap attitudes. I happened to take after my dad.

Despite my weight, I'm what I would classify as normal. I know it's _'the thing'_ to be skinny with long flowing hair and the palest of complexions, but life never seemed to want me that way. Instead, I'm chubby with **_length_**, **_natural color_** hair that occasionally goes on the fritz and **_color_** skin. I've thought about dyeing my hair for a while now, but my mom always says it would just make me stand out more which is something I want to avoid. The dice have seemingly not rolled in my favor. That's okay though, right? Diversity makes the world unique. At least, that's what my dad told me.

Usually the mornings are pretty calm around here. Not today. My mom finally came home after being who knows where, doing who knows what for the past five days. She didn't even call to let anyone in on her whereabouts. For being the ripe old age of forty-three, she acts like a rebellious teen, going as far as to accusing my dad, her husband of nearly twenty years, that he is not her father and he can't tell her what to do. It's amusing, really. Or it was until she threw something. That's my cue to get out of here.

The walk to school isn't long, maybe fifteen minutes. Once I get there, I'll have another twenty to do whatever I want. By that I mean sit in my seat while I wait for class to start. I know, I really know how to live it up. Party animal right here– yeah, no. I know I'm pathetic. You don't need to remind me, that's what the girls in the bathroom are for.

I'm not going to lie, my thoughts are by far bolder than me. Outwardly, I find it hard to speak, and when I do I stutter and trip over myself. I used to like trying to talk to people, that's why I have three close friends. In all honesty, they're the only ones outside my family I can speak to without an issue. Sad fact is, most people would rather criticize my weight than be friends. That's just how my life is though. As I said, I'm not one of the ones favored by life. I am however certain of one thing: by the end of my time in high school, I promise myself to be able to look in the mirror and not feel bad about what I see staring back at me.

Well, here we are. Home sweet homeroom down in the animation department. Why animation? Again, another simple thing. We're all 'rejects' here. No one judges one another since we're all the outcasts of the school. It's probably the only department that doesn't have bullies in it, and that's something I'm thankful for. Or, at least I don't think there are any bullies…


	3. II

Have you ever heard about someone before ever meeting them? That's what's going on now. It didn't take long for everyone in school to be gossiping about the new transfer student up in the Fashion Department. They talk about how good looking he is; stereotyping deems him to be a jerk. But who am I to judge? I'm no one, right? Yeah. Honestly, it'd be nice if class could be a little more learning, a little less gossip.

By the time lunch rolled around, there was only more to be said about him. He was able to dodge and even hit Zack Lee. I'll admit it, that's impressive. Nothing to fangirl about, right? Wrong. Just ask my friends who may or may not need a change of undergarments by the end of lunch with how hard they're going off about this guy.

"_Y/N_, have you seen the new transfer boy yet?" I looked up from my food, cheek like a chipmunk as I looked to Iseul. With a quick shake of my head I swallowed and gently cleared my throat as I cocked a brow in her direction.

"No, have you?" her dread-filled groan was a sufficient answer, but she didn't think so. She droned on for three minutes before Jin Ae interjected.

"Seen or not, I hear he knocked out Zack Lee," my eyes darted to her, trying to be interested in the topic of the new boy as I pushed more food into my mouth, "If he's fast enough to dodge him and then land a hit, then I wonder how fast he is in–"

"Hey, hey!" I held up a hand, leaning across the table to press my hand over Jin Ae's mouth, "Not in front of my ramen, I don't need your filth tainting its purity."

Narrowing her thin eyes, Jin Ae glared while Iseul giggled hysterically, her face quickly turning crimson. As she opened her mouth to finally retort, we all jumped as Minseok slammed his hand onto the table, startling the group, "What's up my bitches? You hear the good word?"

"Jiji over here says new boy knocked out Zack." I muttered quietly, delving back into my lunch. It was far better than the topic if I'm being honest. Not saying gossiping about our school mates isn't interesting, it is. It's just not food.

"We you can toss that rumor out the door hot lips, he didn't knock Zackie out," sometimes I forget how gay Minseok is, and then he comes in flapping his lips and I'm easily reminded. Pulling up a chair, he nudged Jin Ae over to sit at the edge of the table, settling in before looking to her. They quickly continued sputtering the latest news about the new boy, my existence becoming a thing of its own as my trio of friends drooled over the popular boys.

"Have you seen the new boy, Minnie?" the three turned their heads to look at me. I must have been a snot drenched alien with pink polka dots and a furry antenna. I understand the look, they forgot I was here again. It's okay though, I'm used to it.

"I haven't, but I want to. Every time I've tried he's been swarmed. I hear he's super attractive. I wouldn't mind getting a taste of his–"

I quickly raised my hand, hushing him with a flurry of rushed vowels, "There is ramen still present, that talk is not acceptable here."

With a click of his tongue, Minseok grinned and rolled his eyes at me, returning to the conversation with Jin Ae and Iseul. It's not that I don't like perverse conversation, it's just that I don't like it around my food. Yes, I know, I'm going on about my food again. This is probably one of the reasons my mother and siblings attack me about my eating habits. With a few last bites, quietly took care of my plate and headed out of the cafeteria. No point in sticking around for a conversation I wouldn't be participating in, right?


	4. III

As class resumed, my trio of friends rushed into the classroom. They looked eager about something; if I had to guess, I left too soon. I watched carefully, cringing as the chairs scraped hard against the floor. Bouncing from one to the next, I eyed them as they surrounded me, each looking hyped up. They sat like this for a good thirty seconds before I looked to Minseok, giving a confused smile and nodding for him to begin talking.

"Oh my sweet butter nugget, _Y/N_! I'm not sure when you left, but the new boy was confronted by _Vasco_!" I cocked my brow high; this was undoubtedly intriguing. Of course, I'm not going to jump to conclusions, maybe the new guy did something stupid, that's the only reason why Vasco would do such a thing, "He even used his signature move that puts everyone on their knees!"

"Really?! I'm sorry I missed it, it seems I left too soon," genuinely, I'm sad that I missed it. I've only ever heard about his grip of death. I'm aware that's not what it's called, but that's what I like to call it. Vasco was a legend, or maybe I'm over hyping it? I personally think he's a legend. I've seen him around and honestly, he's something else. Personality wise, that's all. Maybe.

They continued to drone on, finishing out the day strong with their gossip. At some point they had stopped talking about the new boy, but I'm not really sure when. Truth be told I was doing real school work. Surprising, right? Let's just say I don't actually like homework since it's hard to get anything done at home. Days where I can't finished homework during class, I gladly stay after school to finish it or while hanging out over at a friend's house.

"So, _Y/N_," turning my head I found Minseok's face next to mine. If it wasn't for the fact that I know he's not into girls, I'd have been nervous, "You wanna hang out after school? We can do whatever. Shopping, gossip, watch tv. You name it, we'll do it honey."

"Thanks Minnie," I quickly gathered my belongings, glancing at the clock while shoving it all into my bag, "That sounds good. Mom came home, so I'm in no rush to go back."

"Oh sweetie, do you want to stay the night?" From earlier you may have noticed that my friends can easily forget about me, but in the end, they're my friends for a reason. With a small yet sincere smile, I gave him a gentle nod to which he started bouncing around the room, "Oh this is going to be so exciting! We can stay up late and watch scary movies!"

"Don't forget it's still a school night." His cheerful outburst was not waivered by this miniscule fact. I truly was the only one to care about school in this four woman squad–yes, I'm calling Minseok a woman. He doesn't care, he embraces it. It's something to admire, really. He's a man proudly, and openly, embracing his inner woman, while I'm a woman trying to embrace an ounce of confidence to go jogging in public. Maybe I need to start taking notes.


	5. IV

It's been about five hours since we arrived at Minseok's house and began binging low budget horror flicks, downing every snack in his apartment, and chattering like a couple of hens in a fox den. We've laughed at every dumb decision the main characters made, screamed at every jump scare, and at one point Minseok ran to the bathroom when the killer suddenly appeared on screen out of nowhere. It was a great night, it'd be a shame if something was to ruin my fun. I peered over the back of the couch as Minseok poked his head out of the bathroom, light flooding out into the dark apartment. 

"Is the part over?" I could hear the tremble in his voice, it was hilarious, and somewhat comforting, compared to his usual confidence.

"Yeah, but we have a new horror to deal with," I watched in amusement as his brow furrowed and bottom lip jutted out, a look of pure confusion on his face, "We're completely out of snacks. How are we supposed to stay up all night without snacks?"

He let out a horrified gasp, clutching his hand over his heart. If I didn't know any better, someone had just offended his ancestors. After a moment he laughed it off, gathering his jacket and wallet, "Well come on then my darling, we gotta go buy some more snackage for the movies!"

Pushing myself from the couch I grabbed my hoodie, pulling it on before slinging my bag over my shoulder and meeting him at the door. Giving me a glance he chuckled; I know how I must look. The chubby kid learning that they're going to go get their snack on–large doe eyes with a special twinkle meant just for food. Leading me out of the apartment, he stopped only to lock the door before taking my hand and lazily sprinting to the stairwell. He knows on my own I would never sprint, but he knows how to make me leave my comfort zone.

A brief ten minute sprint and we found ourselves at the convenience store. Entering, I quickly took notice of the new cashier behind the counter. He looked harmless, in fact, he looked like the kids at school who got the most grief for being overweight. Subconsciously, I followed Minseok closely, gripping his navy blue jacket as I plodded along behind him. He glanced over his shoulder as he swiped a variety of snacks from the shelves.

"What are you doing, _Y/N_?" I glanced up at him, my mouth opening but no words coming out. I redirected my eyes to the counter where the cashier was standing, looking ever so harmless, "Oh, new cashier. I didn't even notice. Here, at the very least hold some stuff while you're trailing, okay?"

That's one of the best things about having been friends with Minseok for the last seven years; he isn't phased by my inability to get words out when there's strangers around. He continually handed me junk food, from chips and candy all the way to soda. By the time we made it up to the register my arms were tired and ready to give out as I set the items down. I'm a foodie, but even I know he went overboard with grabbing junk.

"So new cashier cutie, what's your name? When did you move here?" I nearly choked on air; it never ceases to surprise me with the who, when, and where this boy would strike up his flirt. The cashier looked a little surprised as well.

"Oh um, my name's Park Daniel, I moved here a few weeks ago," nervous as a squirrel on crack, that's for sure. Sad to say, even so, he's doing way better than me, "It's nice to meet you…"

"Where are my manners? I'm Jung Minseok, and this little peach is my bestie, _L/N_ _Y/N_." Honestly, I owe this boy more than he knows. As I said, we've known each other for seven years. Imagine how many times he's done this introduction, "We're having a besties night, binging horror movies and chowing down on some goodies."

Watching Minseok flirt was both inspiring and horrific. How could he flirt while engaged in such minor conversation? Words alone you'd think it was just a normal customer-cashier interaction, but no, I get to witness first hand the mischievous smirk, the playing with the hair, the odd way he's draping himself halfway across the counter while wiggling his butt around. Again, maybe I should be taking notes.

This interaction lasted the entire time Daniel rang up our items. To say the least, I'm glad I'm not the one paying. Minseok gingerly handed me a few bags, taking the rest for himself as he concluded his conversation, "It was fun talking with you Danny, maybe I'll stop back in tomorrow night just to chat some more. Have a good night, cutie!"

"G-good night, Minseok! G-good night, _Y/N_!" I offered a small smile, waving gently as I followed Minseok out the door. The poor guy was so flustered, I doubt he has any idea what was even happening. I quicken my pace to walk beside Minseok, glancing up at him. He wore a proud smirk and chuckled silently to himself.

"I didn't know he was your type," my voice sounded like a squeaking mouse, soft and quick. Minseok glanced at me a few times, his smirk blooming into a full on grin, "What?" 

"Girl, did you really not know I'm a chubby chaser?" My eyes widened. This in fact really was new news to me. Rightly so, I shook my head no, "Oh hell yeah. They're so soft and squishy, I can't get enough of it."

"I didn't need that imagery, thanks," I let out a soft laugh, easily covered by Minseok's loud burst of laughter as he nudged me in the arm with his elbow, "So you're really going back tomorrow night?"

"Indeed I am. I want to get to know this Park Daniel better." We exchanged smiles, laughing the rest of the way back to his apartment. The walk back took a bit longer than our sprint there, but it was a pleasant walk nonetheless. While I'm eager to get back to watching the crap movies, I'm also ready to dip into the chocolate; it's been a few weeks since I had any. I know, surprising considering how much I love food.

Coming up to the apartment, my phone dinged loudly. I wrestled the bags to a single hand and fished the device from my pocket, unlocking the screen to see who messaged, "Oh."

"What's up?" Minseok didn't even give a glance as he unlocked the door to his apartment, opening it and holding it for me as I slipped in behind him.

"It's my mom."

"What's the wicked bitch of the East want? She never messages you, ever." I chuckled at Minseok's nickname for my mom. It's not an inaccurate name, and while I don't condone the use of speaking ill of others, she's one that I'll definitely make an exception for.

"She wants to know why I haven't come home." I looked up to meet his raised brow, "I told my dad I was staying with you tonight. I guess he decided not to tell her."

"Good, it's not like she cares anyway," setting down the bags, he quickly snatched my phone, "Let me take care of this, you deal with our goodies."

While I'd love to protest, he's in much better shape and athletically inclined than I. I quickly stashed a number of the snacks in the cupboards, placing the soda in the fridge to begin chilling, and devised which snacks I was going to jump into next. It didn't take long for Minseok to return, my phone out of his hands.

"Don't worry, I just put the phones on the charger and they'll be good to go in the morning." How thoughtful, but still, that leaves me with questions, like, '_what did you say to my mom?'_. Swiping a bag of chocolate covered caramels, he gave me a mischievous smile, "Don't worry, I dealt with your mom. Let's just get back to our party."

With a nod, I swiped the snacks into the makeshift bowl my hoodie provided. Knowing it would be pointless trying to get to my phone to see what he wrote, I settled back onto the couch as Minseok scrolled through the movies. How much damage could he do?


	6. V

Anxiety. One of the worst things to exist among the human population. How do we fix it? Medication? Therapy? Both are common treatments, but some people live day to day without either while they experience their anxiety levels skyrocket. Why do I bring this up? I finally got my phone back from Minseok this morning. He was adamant on not letting me have it, we ended up wrestling for it. I would like to thank my body fat for victory, but it was short lived.

Fifty-six new messages. I know Minnie had gone out of his way to message mom for me, but whatever he said only enraged the beast. I'm nervous to know what he said, but I have to know. Scrolling up in the messages, my eyes widen at the brief yet rude message which he proudly signed.

_Yesterday, 22:17pm_

_ "sup you wicked bitch, _Y/N_ is staying the night with me and I'm taking away her phone  
__so you can't ruin anything. how about you go set more bad examples for your bitter  
__disappointments that are just like you. kindly fuck off~  
_– _Jung Minseok, kisses hoe_

Scanning the messages she sent made my anxiety peak, and it was barely seven o'clock in the morning. Usually she is empty threats and foul language. We'll see tonight if she truly raided my room and destroyed anything. It's not like there's anything that she could find that is worth destroying. Her gambling habits make it hard to have anything of significant value. Nothing irreplaceable.. except for my diary! Where did I put it last?

"Minnie!" I rushed into the kitchen where Minseok was drying his freshly washed hair, already dressed for school, "We need to stop by my house to see if my mom found my diary!"

He smirked, snickering softly. Yeah, I had a diary to write things down, but he was my walking diary and anything written down he already knew about, "You afraid she's going to find out about your crush?"

You know how you feel on a hot day under the scorching sun with no breeze or shade? Yeah, that's what I'm feeling. I'm sure my face is as red as a fire truck but there's no time to speculate. He's not wrong. There's a boy I've had a crush on for a while now, but that doesn't mean I want anyone beyond him finding out. I've not even told Iseul or Jin Ae because they're nothing but gossip.

"No worries, hun. We'll drop by, grab it if she's not found it, and go to school," he glanced at the clock before gasping; dramatic much, "We'd better get going if we don't want you to be late for being early!"

Rolling my eyes I pulled on my hoodie and grabbed my bag, slipping my feet hastily into my shoes before rushing out the door behind Minseok. Just as last night, he dragged me along as he jogged ahead of me. I could feel the judgmental eyes scanning me over. It's a discontent feeling if I'm being completely honest.

While I was stuck in my head, we came to a stop at the front door of my house. Giving the knob a twist, it was surprisingly unlocked. We entered quietly, listening for any sound of life. Passing by the living room, I can see my dad sprawled out on the couch, a thin blanket draped over him. That wasn't a good sign, it means mom is still home. Turning to Minseok, I pressed my index finger to my lips to which he nodded in understanding as we quickly continued to the stairs. Going up, I poked my head about before eyeing my bedroom door. It was cracked open, definitely not how I'd left it yesterday morning.

Rushing on our toes, we darted into the room and quietly shut and locked the door. The whiney groan from Minseok prompted me to turn to see my once organized, pristine room turned upside down.

"Not going to lie, hun. I think she may have found it," he looked to me apologetically, his lower lip jutting out in a pout, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sent her that message last night."

"Don't worry about it, let's just find the diary so we can go." With his help, we moved the mattress back onto the box spring and lazily straightened up the bedding. Minseok generously gathered up the clothing that was strewn across the room as I shuffled through my night stand searching for the small white journal with a tiny lock. No luck, "It's not in here."

"Is that where you last put it?" I shrug, "That's super helpful."

"I know." He grins and rolls his eyes, going back to hanging up my clothes. Opening the desk, I shuffle through the stacks of papers marked with A's. What can I say? I like to remember that I've done well in school. It's a small reminder that I'm better than some people try to make me believe I am. Pushing a stack aside, I finally find the diary. Pulling it out, I excitedly turn to Minseok, "I found it!"

As he was about to open his mouth, there was a disturbance that silenced us. There was a banging on the door followed by yelling, "_Y/N_, I know you're in there! Get out here!"

"Shit! Quick, the window!" without hesitation, Minseok threw the window open and peered out, "It's not that bad of a drop. I'll go out first and help you down."

It's moments like this I feel like maybe I'm thin. But then I look down at myself and see the strap of fat across my belly and remember I'm not. I shove my diary in my bag and watch as Minseok drops down to the ground, quickly waving me down. As I shuffle through the window, my door flies open, my mom rushing toward me, a lit cigarette in hand aimed straight for me. Letting go, I dropped from the second level of my house, my fall broken as I was caught and fell with Minseok.

"I'm so sorry, Minnie! She got in," he laughed, pushing me off as he rolled and jumped up from the ground, "I swear I'll make it up to you! I didn't mean to fall on you!"

"No worries sweetie, the look on that bitch's face up there is good enough for me." We glanced up at my window to see my mom hanging out, angrily yelling as we sprinted off down the road, heading to school. Even walking at a casual pace we got there with ten minutes to spare. Too bad there's a flock of girls making entering difficult.

"What's going on here?" I could head the grin spread across Minseok's face as he strolled closer to the mob, "I'll see you in class, hun. I gotta find out what's going on over here."

Just like that, I was on my own. With a deep breath, I headed to the school, ready for the day to start.


	7. VI

Making my way into the restrooms, I checked my uniform. It was wrinkled and had crumbs on it from last night. Yes, I slept in it because I went to Minseok's completely unprepared for a sleepover. While the uniform was an easy fix, my hair was looking like a birds nest. Pulling a brush from my bag, I begin to work out the tangled knots. I should have done this before leaving to get my diary this morning. Oh well, at least I have the restroom to myself to deal with it before others can see.

It's amazing how simple thoughts are easily turned into a challenge by life. As if on cue, the door swung open and a quartet of popular girls strolled in. No, that's a lie. It's a quartet of backup girls who follow the popular kids around, waiting for the opportunity to brown nose. Again, this is nothing I would ever say aloud, even if I wasn't a mess when it came to talking to people outside my social circle.

"Hey there chunk, working out your rats nest?" the four laughed, I'm not sure what was funny about the comment. One thing is for sure though, when one starts, the rest feel the need to chime in.

"You don't have any animals in there, do you?" this one cautiously peered into the knotted up mess of my hair, feigning timidity.

"It wouldn't surprise me. She looks like she crawled out of a dumpster this morning." Yes, please, I enjoy this ego boost. Please, feed me more to crush my already non-existent confidence. The best route, so I've found, is to not respond. They either get bored and leave or they start hitting. Usually it's the first because they don't want to ruin their manicured nails.

"Oh, what's this?" my eyes quickly glance to see behind me. It wasn't a sight I was ready for, "Tubby has a diary? Can I read it?"

Turning quickly, I reached for it, panic evident in my eyes. My words, they fail me again as I trip over myself, "G-give it b-b-ba-ack."

Of course, they slap my hand away, three cornering me against the sink while the remaining messes with the lock. Each move I made only prompted the girls to taunt me, pushing me any time I tried to move toward the girl behind them. She tugged on the lock, beat it against the wall, even threw it to the ground and stomped on it. Normally I wouldn't be tearing up over a notebook being abused after one of these girls stole it, but this was my diary.

"Aha! There we go," she had finally managed to break the tiny feeble lock. It was actually surprising how long it took her to open it considering even a child could easily break it, "Let's see what our fat friend here likes to write about."

"N-no!" Once again, the girls before me pushed me back against the sink, one of them holding a pen out, threatening to stab me if I tried to break free again before they let me go.

"You really are boring, aren't you?" she scanned the pages, a bored expression covering her face. Hopefully she would stop before–, "What's this now? How disgusting!"

The other girls turned, rushing to hover around as the read, open jawed. I knew exactly what they were reading, and I couldn't be more devastated. They were definitely going to leak this, and I would be the laughing stock of the school for day, if not weeks. They kept glancing between the diary and me, their judgmental eyes boring into me with each pass.

"I can't believe fatty has a crush on–," she was cut off as the bell rang, indicating the start of the day. Prompted by the opening as the girls blankly looked up to the ceiling, I snatched my diary and fled from the restrooms, quickly weaving through the hallway to class. I wonder how long it would take them to start spreading the good word.


	8. VII

Sometimes I surprise myself with how quickly I can get from point A to point B when I'm in a panic. I made it from the restroom to class in what I would like to claim is my record time, you know, had I timed myself, and this was all while shoving my diary in my bag. Note to my future self— don't bring your diary to school! It would be better for mom to find it. At least then the bullying only stays at home… right?

Settling myself in, I barely caught my breath when Miseok jumped in front of me, screeching a loud 'boo' which startled me right out of my seat. There was a chorus of giggles throughout the class and all I could do was look up at my best friend with a reddened face filled with shock. He was torn between wanting to giggle along and being worried, that was a first for him actually scaring me out of my seat.

"_Y/N_… are you okay?" he shuffled his feet as he rounded the front of the desk, helping me up. 

"Yeah." Incorrect! I'm not okay, I'm far from it. This morning was the perfect set up to give me an anxiety attack, and that should have been the topping to this disastrous cake. He grabbed my face and gave it a gentle squeeze, staring me in the eye, "What?" 

"I'm trying to tell if you're lying. You've never jumped out of your seat to a simple 'boo' before." I brushed him off, quickly sitting back down and staring at my table, "What's got your goose, hun?" 

"It's nothing, really," I should stop lying, "I was just thinking about how close we were to getting caught by my mom this morning. I don't know what I would have done had she found it."

Miseok eyed me suspiciously as he rounded back across the front of my desk to my right, taking his seat beside me. To say I was great at lying would be the biggest lie of all, because I'm not, and he knows that. Thankfully, the teacher came in, saving me from the would have been scrutiny that would have taken place otherwise. I gave him a quick smile to which his lower lip jutted out as he pouted. With luck, he will forget all about this by lunch break.

Class sadly didn't drag by today. Just the glances from Miseok all morning told me he still had questions that he would get answered one way or another. With about the subtlety of a hippo doing a cannonball into a watering hole, I shuffled my belonging into my bag. There was still three minutes of class left, but as I said, I'm not a good liar. My best bet is to simply avoid, and I am pretty good at avoiding topics that I don't want to discuss. Tick, tock, Mr. Clock! I have some avoiding to do.

As the bell rang, I stood, barely pushing my seat in as I rushed to the door. I could hear my friends calling after me. Sorry guys, I need to get my grub on so I can avoid answering questions. That's right. The best way to avoid is to dive into a meal before anyone can get to me. I'm pretty sure they learned their lesson about interrupting me while I'm eating a few years back, or at least that's my assumption since they haven't tried to force conversation onto me during meals.

Surprisingly I was among the first into the cafeteria. You know what this means? I'll get the freshest food! Or so I thought. My hopes and dreams of fresh cafeteria food flew out the window as someone grabbed the back of my uniform, pulling me out of the cafeteria. Flailing slightly, I was let loose long enough to turn around. Oh joy–

"Hey there fatty, remember us?" Wow, how cliché could one get? This girl and her lackies, the bullies from this morning. Just because my thoughts can run rampant and say things doesn't mean they will find their way out. Due to this fact, I merely nod to the ring leader as my eyes stay glued to her cakey face. I wonder what she looks like under all of that– "Good, come hang out with us."

What? I opened my mouth, but no words came out. What was I going to say? Would I protest? Surely that wouldn't go over well. Laugh? No, no. That would be drastically worse. I guess there's only one thing I could say…, "Okay?"


	9. VIII

It's no surprise we didn't end up in a largely populated place. They led me out to the track where they pushed me behind the bleachers and surrounded me. How much do you want to bet they're going to say some typical bully intimidation line? I'm willing to bet Minseok's left pinkie toe. Surely he'd be glad to get rid of it since all it seems capable of is seeking out objects to be stubbed on, thus allowing a long stream of profanities flow effortlessly from his mouth.

"So, fatty–" 

"_Y/N_…" they all looked at me surprised. In all honesty I think I was just as surprised as them. They glanced around to one another, their caked up faces looking like they could crack at any moment as their faces twisted in disgust.

"Yeah, whatever, fatty." Oh good, we're keeping this nickname. Thankfully it's nothing I've not heard before, "So you like Vasco, huh?" 

My lips drew in, my mouth becoming a thin line as I diverted my gaze to the ground. I honestly don't have to answer that. She read it in my diary, the one that's tucked in my bag dangling over my shoulder behind me. Damn, I really should have just gone in for lunch.

"Don't worry, we won't tell…" I don't like how this girl drags on, "On one condition."

I knew it. Bullies, in the end they're all the same. Reluctantly, I pull my eyes up to glance at her. Smug. Each and every one of them had sadistic little smirks on their faces. _Just be smart about this, _Y/N_._

"It's nothing hard, all you have to do is be our servant." They all giggled. It was a chorus of darkness that didn't sit well with me. But what would be worse? Playing servant to a bunch of stuck up bullying bi-.. I mean snobs, or the entire school hearing the not false rumor of my liking Vasco? Drawing in a sharp breath I give a weak smile with my answer practically rolling off the tip of my tongue.

"O-okay. W-what exactly would y-you want m-me to do?" Good job, _Y/N_; you only stuttered four times! Oh gosh, I hope that doesn't make me sound confident. Usually I trip over my words worse than a newborn giraffe trips over themselves. I watched as the ring leader held out her hand, her perfectly manicured, and probably fake, nails waving impatiently as she demanded my phone. Passing it off quickly, she starts punching in what I assume is her phone number.

"From here on, you'll refer to me only as _My Queen_, got it? The rest you'll be referring to as… _My Princess._" She paused as she said the last two words. Listening to phones chiming with new texts around me, it clicked. She was putting in all of their numbers.

"H-how…" she suddenly looked up, her face completely unamused. Definitely should have just gone to lunch, "How w-will I kno-ow which i-is wh-which?"

That must have been something she didn't think about, given away by the momentary widening of her eyes before she played it off, rolling them harshly. If she'd rolled them any harder I'd have seen nothing but the whites of her eyes and would have rightfully been able to assume she was searching for her brain. Maybe I will get such a chance some other time in my life. Drawn from my thoughts, she toss my phone back at me before pointing to each of the girls and listing them off.

"When Eunji texts you, her contact will have an E at the end. Hyorin will have an H, and Nari will have an N." She glared daggers at me, "Got it, fatty?"

I nodded, slightly raising my right index finger as I smiled nervously, "Y-yeah, b-but.. W-what's your n-name?" 

Her eyes twinkled with what was by far something more than a hint of anger. In fact, I'd be willing to bet I outright offended her my not knowing who she is. Sure, I've seen her and her posse around but I never cared to learn their names. I was a good girl, I kept out of the limelight as much as possible. It's not like they were on a need-to-know basis and this is the first time they've ever targeted me. I wonder what happened to.. What was his name? Well now I feel bad.

I was pulled from my thoughts as the girl got in my face, anger scrunching her face, causing her makeup to finally crack. She aggressively poked at my shoulder with her squared up nail– oh look, she has a rhinestone on it– , "My name is Kim Sun-Mi, don't forget it."

I nodded, feeling myself shrink back as much as possible. She pushed me away, back toward the main building of the school. I glanced at the quartet who remained under the bleachers, pulling cigarettes from their purses, sharing a single lighter. Were they just letting me go? Turning to head back inside, I heard Sunmi yell at me.

"Be expecting texts from us, fatty! You slip up and your secret gets spread more than Eunji's legs!" Giving one last nervous smile I shuffle away, trying to quickly disappear out of their sight. Out of sight I chuckled to myself over the last bit, catching a glimpse of a fight starting to break out between the two girls. I don't know if that was truthfully implying one of their own was a slut, or if it was just something to try to intimidate me into doing what they wanted. Either way, the intimidation is working.

I was yet again pulled from my thoughts as I ran into something solid upon turning the corner. Maybe I didn't turn the corner and instead turned into a wall? I could believe that story, it felt like a wall. But there's one thing… walls don't ask questions.

"Are you okay?" Looking up, I could feel my heart leap into my throat. Today is just not my day.


	10. IX

Looking up at the wall of a young man that I had crashed into, I found myself at a loss of words. Sure, the right words should be _'yeah, I'm totally fine. No biggie!'_ but that's the furthest sentence from my mind right now. Rather, I find myself too enamored with eyeing up this gorgeous man in a gray jumpsuit that's peering down at me with a look of concern. His movements seemed so slow as his hand made its way toward me as I continued sitting on the filthy floor of the school, my senses slowly coming back to me.

"How hard did you two collide? She looks super out of it." My eyes didn't need move away to recognize the voice that spoke. With a blink I promptly pick myself up, unable to accept _his_ help as running into him was enough physical contact to leave me content for a year.

"I-I'm s-sorr-y," hallelujah, madame stutters is back! Before he could say anything else, I scurried away with my head down, eyes glued to the ground as my feet quickly led me away. Of course, I couldn't help but to listen as closely as possible to their brief exchange of words as I fled.

"Jace," I could hear the lightest dip in his voice which made my heart plummet, dropping into the pit of my stomach like a rock to the bottom of a pond, "Did I do something wrong?"

"I think she's just shy, don't worry too much about it."

Making my way to the canteen, I glanced at my phone. Only ten minutes left to get something to eat, lucky me. Don't get me wrong, there's more than ten minutes left for lunch, it's just that I want to get back to class quickly to avoid running into anyone else or be questioned by my beloved Minseok. Scampering over, I plucked up some ramen for myself. Again with the ramen? Yeah, again. It's empty calories but it tastes good.

With my ramen ready to eat, I made my way as quickly to my usual spot. As I thought, Minseok and Iseul were sitting there gossiping away, Jin-Ae ignoring them as she scrolled through social media. Slipping into my usual spot, I began quietly slurping my noodles while lowkey listening to the gossip. Most of it was nothing new and even less interesting than the first few times they'd talked about it. Sometimes something would pique my interest, but it was things everyone was curious about.

"When do you think Vin will finally take off his glasses?" Iseul has always been adamant about wanting to see Vin without the glasses. I find it amusing because she wants to see, but is far too nervous to even approach him. Maybe it's because she thinks he'll bully her. She isn't the prettiest girl but she's not ugly either.

"Hard saying, he's pretty dead set on keeping them on at all times." Minseok popped a glob of rice into his mouth, sighing dramatically, "What I want to know is why he's got such a stick up his ass. I mean, he acts all high and mighty but always gets his ass handed to him in fights yet keeps picking fights."

"Hey, hey! Keep it down, he might hear you!" Isuel hushed him, leading me to snicker at the two as I kept the flow of noodles going. This tiny sound somehow drew their attention to me, "Hey, _Y/N_. I didn't realize you finally slunk in. It's not like you to be so late for lunch."

"Yeah, I was here earlier but got distracted with something shiny." Yes, this is how I choose to play it off. The shiny game.

"Oh please, was the shiny thing called Vas-" I sent a small glare at Minseok that sent his arms flying up defensively, an action that was accompanied by a sly chuckle, "Sorry, sorry. I won't bring him up again. But really, what was this shiny thing?"

I hummed lightly, slurping in more noodles to buy my time to find a new fib to tell him. Holding up a finger, I chewed as slowly as I possibly could. I couldn't tell him I was with the petty quartet, otherwise he'd probably make the situation worse than it is. Knowing how the girls are in this school, if I were to mess up, they would spread the secret like a wildfire in a three years parched forest.

"I decided to follow one of the groups of girls to see if they had any juicy gossip. I know how much you like gossip." Minseok's eyes lit up as he scooted toward the table, the legs of his chair scraping against the floor in that usual annoying manner. With a chuckle, I gave him a pout, "Sadly they didn't do anything interesting. Just went out to the bleachers to smoke without getting caught."

Minseok scoffed, rolling his eyes in annoyance, "Well that's boring."

"Supposedly one of the girls likes spreading her legs," once again, his eyes lit up, waiting for the next part, to which he would become disappointed, "Sadly I don't know which one though. I didn't get a good look at them. You know how all the bitchy girls end up looking alike with faces all caked with the same clown look."

As predicted, Minseok was very disappointed. Iseul on the other hand piped up, "Yeah, but even clowns look different. Maybe you can find them again later so we can go find out for ourselves who's getting di-"

"Hey!" I knew what she was going to say, but I can't allow it, "I've said it before: not in front of my ramen. It's innocent, you don't need to taint it with such filthy language."

Iseul rolled her eyes at me, "You do realize you said bitch in front of your ramen, right?"

"Totally different." a small grin found its way to my face as I finished my last bite and quickly chugged down the salty broth, "One small curse versus talking about dicking people are exponentially different."

Before she could make a retort I picked up myself and my belongings and fled. I could hear her faintly cursing in the background as Minseok laughed at her. To her, there was no difference, and in all honesty I could care less. It's just fun to say and it frustrates the poor girl. Tossing the trash in its rightful bin, I carefully scurried away down the hall, careful and alert of my surrounding as I made my way back to class with less than five minutes before the bell to resume the rest of the day's learning. With a little luck, the rest of the day can go absolutely swimmingly.


End file.
